我一生中尷尬事當然不少，其中一件卻有一段很長的時間覺得特別難以釋懷；難以釋懷，說到底是自我形象的問題。不過，隔了這麼多年，現在只覺往事已矣，也沒甚麼介懷不介懷了，今天寫出來，作為笑談又何妨？
話說我初到 Berkeley 當研究生時，英語仍然講得非常彆腳，不但口音重，也很不流利，簡直是開口維艱；加上我臉皮薄，怕出錯，就更有「難於啟齒」的感覺，所以很少主動跟人交談，結果是惡性循環，英語能力便無甚長進了。
記得那是我在 Berkeley 的第二個學期，鼎鼎大名的哲學家 Hilary Putnam 來演講，那是一系列的演講，他留了好幾天。負責安排他到訪事宜的同學其中一個任務是找人陪他吃午餐（晚餐則一早安排了，出席的都是些重要人物），有一天的午餐他們竟找不夠人「陪客」，剛巧碰到我，便問我有沒有興趣，還說 Bernard Williams 也會去；我還猶豫不決之際，已給兩個也去的研究生半推半拉地「請」去了。
跟兩個這麼有名的哲學家吃飯，是很難得的機會，而且同檯的就只有我和另外那兩個研究生，我應該可以跟 Putnam 和 Williams 傾談傾談。可是，除了自我介紹的那句說話，整個午餐的一個多小時裏，我一句說話也沒有講過！我不出聲，是怕講錯 --- 怕講錯英文，也怕講錯哲學的東西。誰知沉默得越久，便越難開口，而且 Putnam 和 Williams 間中向我投以奇怪的目光，我就更沒有勇氣說話了。Putnam 和 Williams 都談笑風生，那兩個同學也不時答嘴，有說有笑，就只我一個像個傻瓜坐在那裏一聲不響，最多只是陪笑，實在尷尬不已。這一餐真是如坐針氈，食不知味。
Williams 已仙遊，Putnam 和那兩個同學亦不會記得這樁小事，我久久不能忘記，就只因為尷尬的那個是我。
為何你現在有一口流利的英文？
回覆刪除Yan,
回覆刪除//為何你現在有一口流利的英文？//
- 你未聽過我講英文，怎知我流利？其實我到現在還講得不怎麼流利，口音仍極重。天份所限，沒辦法。
//你未聽過我講英文，怎知我流利？
回覆刪除用英文教咁多年哲學，乜英文可以唔流利咖咩？
Yan,
回覆刪除//用英文教咁多年哲學，乜英文可以唔流利咖咩？//
- 講書我就好流利，因為講慣。
握手。我都唔止一次遇過這樣的飯局。而且，我大概是因為表達問題而說錯話，仲衰過唔講嘢。
回覆刪除這是很多香港學生的通病，越怕越不講；反觀菲律賓、印度、新加坡的何嘗口音不重？就是不理三七廿一，滔滔不絕，就算所講的東西人家只聽懂三成，起嗎搶到air-time和presence，把香港生比下去了。
回覆刪除若我是你
回覆刪除我會堅決拒絕邀請
雖然地道口音重令人覺得不好聽(尤其對英美人)
不過最重要還是以其溝通
順道一提
其實講中文的人講英文大概是最難聽的
我也有同感，幸好未被人扯了去那些聚餐。最尷尬的是怕講錯（甚至聽錯）哲學觀點。有時候，美國人會覺得口音重或說話不流利不打緊，最重要是言之成理，但這倒可能會令他們有一些錯誤期望，以為你「唔聲唔聲」地會突然爆出幾句真知灼見，那反會更令人不敢說話。
回覆刪除現在我跟同學們略為混熟，去派對也可算是表現自然，在系內的小組討論也時有發言，但始終不能像他們那般口若源河，並且，一緊張起來（例如見supervisor時）就拙口笨舌。
星期六要去一個會議報告和評論，是練習機會了。
Putnam! 就是提出桶中腦理論的Putnam嗎? 嘩~~~~~~~ 我十分明白你當年會「怕講錯哲學的東西」!
回覆刪除(我看了你的BLOG一段時間, 看到PUTNAM便忍不住留言)
還有, 就算口音重也不等於不流利吧?
所以話﹐厚顏無恥也是一種技能來的(笑)
回覆刪除問王兄，你在 class discussion 時又怎樣？那對我來說是頗大的挑戰，若預備太多，會變成單向，失了討論的意義，若一味討論，有些學生又會覺得溝通不順。想看看你有何心得。
回覆刪除接受香港教育，要說得一口流利英語，真不容易。記得余若薇與特首辯論，她的英語真的十分impressive, 但也激勵我，令我覺得說一口流利漂亮的英語，並非無可能。尷尬事令人難受，但也可以成為你做好一件事情的推動力！
回覆刪除KA
CYC,
回覆刪除//CYC 提到...
握手。我都唔止一次遇過這樣的飯局。而且，我大概是因為表達問題而說錯話，仲衰過唔講嘢。//
- 握手。
Chris,
回覆刪除//這是很多香港學生的通病，越怕越不講；反觀菲律賓、印度、新加坡的何嘗口音不重？就是不理三七廿一，滔滔不絕，就算所講的東西人家只聽懂三成，起嗎搶到air-time和presence，把香港生比下去了。//
- 非常同意。
紫健文,
回覆刪除//其實講中文的人講英文大概是最難聽的//
- 我覺得日本口音和印度口音更肉酸。
lolo,
回覆刪除//Putnam! 就是提出桶中腦理論的Putnam嗎? 嘩~~~~~~~ 我十分明白你當年會「怕講錯哲學的東西」! //
- 對，就是那個。
//還有, 就算口音重也不等於不流利吧?//
- 我是說當年口音既重，亦不流利。
Daniel,
回覆刪除//但這倒可能會令他們有一些錯誤期望，以為你「唔聲唔聲」地會突然爆出幾句真知灼見，那反會更令人不敢說話。//
- 我倒沒有這印象。
文少,
回覆刪除//所以話﹐厚顏無恥也是一種技能來的(笑)//
- 你有此技能嗎？
Daniel,
回覆刪除//問王兄，你在 class discussion 時又怎樣？那對我來說是頗大的挑戰，若預備太多，會變成單向，失了討論的意義，若一味討論，有些學生又會覺得溝通不順。想看看你有何心得。//
- 我可沒甚麼心得，通常都是隨機應變，如果有一點是我會特別注意的，那就是討論前想好一些他們容易有共鳴的例子。
KA,
回覆刪除//接受香港教育，要說得一口流利英語，真不容易。記得余若薇與特首辯論，她的英語真的十分impressive, 但也激勵我，令我覺得說一口流利漂亮的英語，並非無可能。尷尬事令人難受，但也可以成為你做好一件事情的推動力！//
- 我聽過那場辯論，亦聽過余若薇用英語接受傳媒訪問，她的英語說得不錯，但不算極好。和她比較，我的流利程度差不多，口音則比她重一些。
Wong,
回覆刪除//和她比較，我的流利程度差不多//
由沉默無聲到與御用大狀平分秋色，王Sir的英語口語可謂完全「升呢」了；以昆蟲學為喻，就是完全變態了！
Meshi,
回覆刪除我文中講的是十多年前的事，而這十多年來我都在英語世界生活，英語有進步亦很自然。不少御用大狀的英語都講得不好，例如李柱銘的口音就很重。
真的要談值得自豪的，我會認我的書寫英文的確進步很快：91年之前我幾乎完全沒有用英文寫作，93年我已有第一篇的國際期刊論文。
紫健文,
回覆刪除//其實講中文的人講英文大概是最難聽的//
- 我覺得日本口音和印度口音更肉酸。
It's an interesting sociological question as to why certain accents are perceived negative (or positive.) It goes back to the power thing.
Hong Kong Chinese tend to look down on Indian accents, even though most of the Indians I have encountered often speak much better English in terms of grammar, vocabulary, and fluency than most of the Hong Kong Chinese I know.
The exact same accent appeared on different faces would be evaluated differently too. I heard about an experiment in which the researchers produced the same lecture soundtrack but put it in two different videos with two different instructors - and the ratings of the lecturers were significantly different.
lin,
回覆刪除//Hong Kong Chinese tend to look down on Indian accents, even though most of the Indians I have encountered often speak much better English in terms of grammar, vocabulary, and fluency than most of the Hong Kong Chinese I know. //
- I am not sure this is true of me. I started to dislike Indian accent only after I met in the U.S. people who spoke with that accent (my wife's friends). What I dislike is the intonation only.
//反觀菲律賓、印度、新加坡的何嘗口音不重？//
回覆刪除These are all multilingual countries in which English is used as a common language by various linguistic groups.
English is spoken as a first language with a wide variety of accents around the world. So yes, even people who speak English as their 1st language have accents - it has nothing to do with the mastery of the language.
Of course, ethnocentrism plays a big role in how individuals evaluate other people's accents.
So do I speak English with an accent? You betcha. I have adopted primarily a Northwestern US accent, with a hint of British and some sprinkles of Hong Kong Cantonese favors.
// I am not sure this is true of me. I started to dislike Indian accent only after I met in the U.S. people who spoke with that accent (my wife's friends). What I dislike is the intonation only.//
回覆刪除I was speaking about a larger social problem of accent-related stigmatization and discrimination and not you specifically. There is a hierarchy of accents that we are socialized into and take as "common sense." Most people never question how they perceive different accents and why, as you can see in some of the comments here.
lin,
回覆刪除//I heard about an experiment in which the researchers produced the same lecture soundtrack but put it in two different videos with two different instructors - and the ratings of the lecturers were significantly different. //
This is a kind of "matched-guise test" in sociolinguistic terms, even though it is usually done the other way round, i.e. the same person speaks different accents.
Hi Meshi:
回覆刪除The goal behind the kind of experiments I talk about is to show that accent is often the excuse for discrimination and that's why it is done the other way round -to show that it's a person's biased perception, not the accent itself, that obstructs communication.
I'm drawing from the study of "World Englishes" - I'm not an expert in this area of research but have heard a little bit about it from friends who are in applied linguistics or communication studies.
回覆刪除An example can be found here: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1473-4192.2005.00087.x/full
我70年代讀HKU哲學系時的系主任Christopher New 對我說，他多年來最出色的門徒，是一個無論講或寫都不濟的男生，He wrote something between English and Chinese，但是他的哲思有料到。
回覆刪除Chris,
回覆刪除哲學能力和語言能力當然不是同一回事。我也認識 New，還替他刻過一個印章。
怕講錯是否因為怕給別人（尤其是大師）自己功力不夠的壞印象，以後難以洗底？這個考慮似乎比起怕當場出醜更可怕。
回覆刪除Sorry Wong! I got carried away there!
回覆刪除lin,
回覆刪除//The goal behind the kind of experiments I talk about is to show that accent is often the excuse for discrimination and that's why it is done the other way round -to show that it's a person's biased perception, not the accent itself, that obstructs communication.//
I think it is the attitude towards an accent rather than the accent itself that cause discrimination, and the matched-guise test aims to study the former.
As for the experiment you quoted, it seems to me that it is more about how another social factor - outlook - affects our impression. The accent, on the other hand, looks like a control factor there.
Meshi
Chris,
回覆刪除那年代"wrote something between English and Chinese"能入讀港大真是異數。到了我做學生的時代就見怪不怪了。小弟也讀過Mr New一門課，相信在他眼中我也是"wrote something between English and Chinese"，只是哲思卻欠奉了。
Meshi
阿仔,
回覆刪除//怕講錯是否因為怕給別人（尤其是大師）自己功力不夠的壞印象，以後難以洗底？這個考慮似乎比起怕當場出醜更可怕。//
- 當時的想法也未必這麼清楚，總之就是不敢出聲。
Lin,
回覆刪除//Sorry Wong! I got carried away there!//
- Why did you say that? I liked your comments and enjoyed your discussion with Meshi.
//Why did you say that? I liked your comments and enjoyed your discussion with Meshi.//
回覆刪除Thanks! I took a look at how much I wrote and felt I was intruding your space.
挑, 我以前係劍橋 High Table, 坐在旁邊的是物理學的 Nobel Laureate 添啦.
回覆刪除我對理科乜都唔識, 咪問佢乜野係 Test Tube 咯, 佢話, 拿, 枝野一邊要密口架, 如果唔係, 的液體咪係另一邊流出黎囉.
我話, 嘩, 你真係勁勒...
willsin,
回覆刪除其實你想講乜？