昨晚跟一個以前的學生喝啤酒，他兩三年前畢業後到德國讀碩士，讀的是neuroscience，這個暑假重回小鎮家鄉住幾個月，之後便會再到德國繼續長住，讀博士去也。他似乎頗喜歡德國的生活，打算拿到博士學位後便留下找工作；他現在已有個德國女朋友，將來娶個德國妹做老婆絕不出奇，到時有份工作有個家，可能便長此以往在德國住下去了。
不過，最後他卻說：「我始終還是會回來的。德國是好，但永遠也不會像這裏一樣給我一個家的感覺。這個小鎮才是我的老家。」
美國於我，正如德國於他；我很喜歡在美國的生活方式，但無論我在美國住多久，也不會覺得自己是美國人，不會覺得美國是我的家。可是，至少在目前，我不認為自己始終要搬回香港；在美國老死，我不會覺得是甚麼憾事（當然是指死前的感覺，死後甚麼也沒了）。
香港不是我老家嗎？是，但所謂老家，不過是指我在那裏出生成長，過了很多年的生活，對那個地方很熟悉，仍然關心。然而，在香港，我不會有一種如魚在水的感覺，因為即使從前住在香港，我也覺得alienated，覺得自己跟香港總有點格格不入。
我可以把自己看成是一片落葉，卻看不到歸根的必要。這可能是我的問題而不是香港的問題。無論在哪裏，我都很容易有心理的抽離（detachment），不知這是讀了哲學的結果，還是我先有這種傾向才會這麼喜歡哲學？
不知到底是什麼原因（太擠？不喜歡香港文化？生活太單調？小格局？），我很討厭香港。如果可以自由選的話，我寧願以後住內地，也永世不想回去。
回覆刪除CYC,
回覆刪除討厭則未至於，我的情況很難說清楚，總之我一回到香港便覺得頭腦不清、戾氣加重。
在香港，至少擡頭不見藍天，是很容易讓人心情抑屈的（至少我就是這樣）！
回覆刪除CYC,
回覆刪除日本好得多嗎？
catcat雖年輕,但曾在不同的地方生活.無論在哪裏,我也覺得alienated. 熟悉是很含糊的觀念.
回覆刪除我要求好高,沒有任何地方我覺得是老家. Sad?
此心安處是吾鄉，落葉是否必要歸根？
回覆刪除我每次外遊回來，發覺始終香港最好；雖則此地令人頭痛欲裂，但大量中文書籍可補償一二。
w.wong,
回覆刪除對居住地的想法，我跟你接近。簡單說，是性格問題。孕育，哺養，教育，工作的過程，其中所有因素，均對個人性格造成主次的影響。有人在國外生活大半世，卻想死後歸葬家鄉，有人移民外國二三年，即購置自己的墓地。
我們任何一個城市現代人，倘若孤身流落荒島，是否與原來的社會割斷關係？但他的性格和求生知識是從原來生活的社會帶去，而且影響著他繼續生存的狀態，是否如此？
p.s. just recall Chris wrote about global village and world citizen.. maybe it's true that 安身立命，才可能做一個快樂的世界公民.
回覆刪除如果將來老到在香港的朋友一個二個都瓜鬼晒，唔知仲想唔想回去過世了。我已叠埋心水，在這裡老死了。我不想瞓在周圍講英文的地方，所以都係塵歸塵最好。
回覆刪除這種感覺, 顯示內心有矛盾, 有幾種價值觀在衝突, 化解之道, 始終是個人自我反省, 作調和取捨, 勿將問題投射到外面環境。
回覆刪除Wong,
回覆刪除I think this feeling of 'detachment' is necessary for our 'survival' in our job... maybe it is part of our training (implicitly)?
Wong,
回覆刪除看得見天空，心情會好一點。
但每年都有兩個多月花粉飛散，這段期間我都不能正常工作。
（我也不喜歡日本，早走早着）
catcat,
回覆刪除//我要求好高,沒有任何地方我覺得是老家. Sad?//
不一定要覺得sad呀，生活得開心便成了。
karol,
回覆刪除好一句「此心安處是吾鄉」。
readandeat,
回覆刪除//我不想瞓在周圍講英文的地方，所以都係塵歸塵最好。//
死咗就無分別喇。
RandomCoil,
回覆刪除//I think this feeling of 'detachment' is necessary for our 'survival' in our job... maybe it is part of our training (implicitly)?//
Do you feel detached too?
Wong,
回覆刪除Maybe it is because of 'like mixes with like'... I think the feeling of 'detachment' are quite common among people I work with (who are 'foreigners' here).
Actually I feel that this sense of detachment actually grows with time... not sure why...
我對香港的懷念系”人“，親人，朋友
回覆刪除但得小貓2隻的時候感覺就無甘”根“。
都唔系無懷念香港的美食、服務速度等等，
但系唔會時時刻刻囉。
只會系俾呢到D服務激到跳起的時候就會懷念 :P
但都唔會覺得自己系意大利人 :S
呢樣嘢會唔會男女有別呢？
I have lived in the United States for 18 years now - I came to the US for college. Once in a while, I fantasized about moving back to Hong Kong for good, so that I can be with my family. However, this “Hong Kong” that I want to move back to exists only in my imagination. My last few trips to Hong Kong took me back to the reality. Hong Kong is still familiar to me in a way, but also “foreign.” I had to ask about how certain things should be done, from logistical to cultural matters. But what really brings me back to my reality is my physical reaction to this place I used to call home. I have respiratory problems. I was actually having troubles breathing when I was Hong Kong because of the air pollution. My body was having a hard time dealing with the hot and humid weather during my last summer trip there. I almost passed out on one occasion. I felt like my body was rejecting my hometown and was saddened by that.
回覆刪除But the truth is, I never quite “fit in” when I was growing up in Hong Kong. My way of thinking was very different from my peers. I felt lonely and detached, but I always felt a strong sense of obligation to my hometown. In the United States, I can find people who share my way of thinking, my outlook on life, etc. I also feel a strong sense of obligation to my new home and care deeply about what’s going on here. Because of that, I have no problem claiming my “American” identity. I chose to live in this place, I care about it, and I’m part of this country now. I make positive contributions to this country through my work and other activities. Still, I feel rootless. I actually have been giving a lot of thoughts on this lately. I realize that one cause of this sense of “rootlessness” is that I don’t have much shared memories with the people I know here (I live in a place where there are few Chinese, let along Hong Kong Chinese). My past is tied to Hong Kong, a past that nobody here can quite understand, but it is a past that makes me who I am now. And I didn’t go through the same rite of passages that my friends have gone through. I feel the loneliness and detachment here as well. I don’t know how things would have been different if I live in a place with more Hong Kong Chinese.
Lin
RandomCoil,
回覆刪除//Actually I feel that this sense of detachment actually grows with time... not sure why...//
- I think detachment encourages more detachment.
英雄公主娘,
回覆刪除//呢樣嘢會唔會男女有別呢？//
應該無卦。
Lin,
回覆刪除Thanks for sharing. I didn't have the physical reactions like yours when I visited HK, and I think your body would adapt if you stayed there for a long time (months or longer).
I care about what is going on in the U.S. too, especially politics. So I am in a way not that detached after all.
The town I am living in has a Chinese community of several hundred people, but only a dozen or so are Hong Kong Chinese (i.e. people who grew up in HK and came here as an adult). I think it would make some difference to how you feel if you had friends in your town who are Hong Kong Chinese. Although I am not particularly close to these friends, we have gatherings and are willing to help one another.
謝謝Chris的鏈接，我也來報到。
回覆刪除我個人認為‘根’有身和神兩種。
身根的話，我自己的經驗是：出生於香港，未到十歲離開，雖然只是住在40英里外的濠江，而且往往返返，卻也常常感覺到香港高速度的變化，與身居的澳門分別很大。之後，四海為家，到現在幾十歲人，回顧身在香港的日子，總共不到二十年。detachment and attachment? 四年前回港渡假，是夏天，潮濕和酷熱對長年住在平均年溫是16度的我來說，確實是挺不容易的。不過，有一天，到海灘游泳，身浸在27度多的海水裡，不覺地衝口而出說了：‘啊，這才是我家鄉的海水！’
神根則有一個簡單的例子：足球世界杯南非賽事，我23歲的女兒說：‘你喜歡意大利的國旗嗎？’我說：‘不是喜歡不喜歡的問題，是意大利國旗不是我的國旗。.... 不過，我的國旗可不是五星旗，可能青天白日滿地紅的國旗，它給我一丁點《國家》的感受，可那也不是我的國旗；香港的紫荊花旗，也代表不了我的國心，可以是一個城市，是一個非凡的地方，但不是《國》。’根，也是需要由一種意象符號來表現的。跟意大利人混了四十多年，住意大利土地上也活了快三十年，思想上是意大利人的觀點和表達，理想和行動上就不放過機會推廣中華文化，對兩方面的政治、人文、傳統都深深投入，我是一個身神兩根雙雜的hybrid體...
根嗎？落什麼地都可以生根。就看是什麼根就是了。
agree -->> 此心安處是吾鄉
回覆刪除allie,
回覆刪除身根/神根是個有意思的劃分，謝謝。
青天白日满地红仍是我心中的国旗，香港仍是我心中祖国的首都。
回覆刪除I went to UK further study at age of 19.Since then, I been staying at UK for more than 15 years. During that period time, I realised how lucky people in Hk family and friends around there, I always missed home.I did not like UK,in particular the weather, the food and the people.
回覆刪除Later on, I made up my mind and moved back to HK. I got well paid and respectable job, most important, I had a very happy time in HK. I have a good family and beloved friends in HK.
Until 15 year ago, we decided to emigrate to Australia for the sake of the children. Honestly, I was unwilling to have such change. As I missed my family and best friends in HK. I do not work in Australia, however, I do lots of voluntary jobs in particular for those Chinese Immigrants whom could not speak or write English.I have lots of friends either Asian or local Australian.
From the bottom of my heart, the sad thing, I could not find a friend who could really share happiness and saddness here.
Everyone says I am good hearted person, they all love me, however, one time I ask myself, if I am in trouble, if say I have to borrow just say A$500 from my friends would anyone be willing to lend that amonut for me? It is sad, but in HK, I have more than dozens of the good friends, whom can be there whenever I am in need.
That is why I miss home, my HK home!! the most I miss my family and my best friends, they love and care about me, I love HK. Even, the air is polluted, the accommodation is terrible.
I already told me husband, if one day, he leaves me for whatever reason,no doubt , I will return to HK no regret, that is my true and love home!!!!
Thanks for sharing!
回覆刪除