20121115

美國少年的煩惱

兒子素來對運動(sports)沒有興趣,他不是不喜歡做運動(exercise),間中也有跑步和跟我到 gym 去;他沒興趣的,是美式足球、籃球、和棒球等團隊式的競技運動。這跟我少年時代一樣,男同學都去踢足球或打籃球,我一概不參與,有時在體育堂被迫踢足球,我幾乎必被派做後衛,站著比跑動的時間還多,但我不介意,反正我不覺得踢足球好玩。至於籃球,就算在體育堂也沒我的份,因為我連最基本的技術也沒有。這些記憶都有點模糊了,可是,那種跟別人格格不入的感覺,我至今未能忘懷。

兒子不是個孤僻的人,愛言談,社交能力亦不錯,為人慷慨,有不少朋友;然而,他不愛運動這一點,加上成績優異和知識豐富,卻給他帶來煩惱 --- 他被一些同學視為 nerd

美國的中學文化相當反智,運動出眾的學生會受其他同學尊重甚至崇拜,智力高超、學業成績過人(而不擅運動)的學生卻不會得到這樣的厚待,反而會被取笑和作弄。不但學生反智,連校方和家長也是極看重運動:假如學校因為撥款不足而要削減課程或活動,先被開刀的必是音樂、美術、外語、和圖書館服務,最後迫不得已才會向運動項目下手。

兒子被同學取笑和作弄的情況不算嚴重,但始終令他有點不開心,而且感到困惑,不明白為何自己比別人優勝的地方會不被欣賞。今天我和他談了好一會這個問題,知道他心理上應付得了,才放心下來。我對他說,只要多忍兩年,上到大學 --- 尤其是頂尖的大學 --- 便不會有這個問題了。他說他連續兩年到 CTY 上暑期課程,體驗到和其他 nerds 在一起的樂趣,簡直有如魚得水的感覺;還說他這麼勤力讀書,為的就是要考進一間滿是 nerds 的大學(例如 MIT)!看來,“nerd” 這個標籤雖然帶給他煩惱,他其實是個 proud nerd

60 則留言:

  1. 足球、籃球和棒球太多身體踫撞,又講求團體合作,不是人人都喜歡,我以前讀書也甚少參與。不喜歡團體競技,可嘗試乒乓球、羽毛球、高爾夫球或遠足等運動。

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    1. 他對球類運動興趣不大,我亦不會勉強他。

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    2. "他沒興趣的,是美式足球、籃球、和棒球等團隊式的競技運動"

      "他對球類運動興趣不大"

      Prof., is he not interested in ALL, MOST, or SOME sports involving a ball? Not all sports involves a ball (e.g. swimming and archery).

      What about competitive (in a team setting) or solo (e.g. golf) sports?

      I am thinking he may have yet to discover a sport which he enjoys participating and spectating.

      Barry above mentioned "足球、籃球和棒球… 講求團體合作" I suppose your son do enjoy being in a team?

      -49er


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    3. Well, he likes swimming and swims quite well.

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    4. Prof., that's cool, he's in a swim team (swimming competitively) or something? As you have said elsewhere that you son is not only brains but rather he ain't shy around gals and is sportive, then that goes to show being called a "nerd" by a few is a rare occasion.

      On another note, with respect, I'd like to address one of the alluded topics--athletics vs. academics--in your post (although your piece's primary focus was on the highschool environment):

      Varsity athletics is very important on the collegiate level as a revenue generator. More so recently with the budget cuts in public education, I have gathered that the money involved in broadcasting rights, ticket sales, and sponsorship of the various athletic program is benefiting everyone on the schools.

      Collegiate sports/NCAA is big business.

      I have great respects for the kids who got to attend higher education by getting sports scholarships, many may have no means otherwise. They have to attain a certain level of academic requirements AND keeping a schedule of training /participating/traveling of the conference matches.

      Here's a piece "Behind the scenes with Michigan football" by 60 Minutes from just the past weekend, which offers another perspective.

      http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504803_162-57551554-10391709/behind-the-scenes-with-michigan-football

      -49er

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    5. I don't know much about collegiate sports. Thanks for the information!

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  2. If you and your kids have watched 'The Big Bang Theory', especially the first 3 seasons...

    Hey! Nerdy is the new SEXY!

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    1. My son loves The Big Bang Theory! We have the DVDs of Seasons 1-4. Maybe I should watch it.

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  3. 香港擅玩球類的學生被譏為「波牛」,就是美國的相反了。

    世人眼下都是重運動而輕學術,看一下職業球員和學者收入差距說知道了。

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    1. 嗯﹐香港也不是每間學校也睇唔起波牛的。
      據知﹐一D名校主張文武兼備﹐書獃子亦會比人笑。

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    2. 少爺安,

      //世人眼下都是重運動而輕學術,看一下職業球員和學者收入差距說知道了。//

      - 但中學裏的運動員大多是讀書不成,日後也當不了職業運動員,只能做些低收入的工作。

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  4. 繼承了nerd的DNA,無可奈何。

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    1. 我少年時可不是個 nerd(成績不好)。

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    2. 哲人王明顯不是nerd﹐係人格分裂(爆)
      你睇下﹐呢邊廂寫詩聽西樂
      另一邊又玩gym又練拳
      D嗜好非常9唔答八。(閃)

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    3. 可能係隱性DNA?

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    4. 我個仔話我係個 old nerd。

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    5. 嗯﹐其實比人覺得nerd﹐會唔會同戴眼鏡有關係﹖

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    6. wonder what is better, old nerd or old fart… heh heh

      -49er

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    7. "會唔會同戴眼鏡有關係" 文少, being nerdy or not depends on if those glasses as fashion accessories statements. There's a fine line on being a hipster or being a nerd ya know? Click on this to decide yourself ha.

      -49er

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    8. 文少,

      //其實比人覺得nerd﹐會唔會同戴眼鏡有關係﹖//

      - 要看戴甚麼款,老老土土的當然會更容易令人覺得是個 nerd。

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  5. 感覺美式足球的那些衝撞非常可怕,不是人人受得了~~

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    1. YUI and other gentle readers.

      According to a study, basketball has the highest rate of sports related injures, not American football.

      "In 2005, the Consumer Product Safety Commission estimated the highest numbers of sport-related injures were reported for basketball (409,799), football (376,115) and bicycling (317,041), says Arlene Flecha, a CPSC spokeswoman. That's not counting minor injuries that didn't require medical attention. The deadliest: riding an all-terrain vehicle, according to the CPSC. The sport accounted for 740 deaths in 2003, one-third of which were children under 16."

      http://www.livescience.com/803-dangerous-sports-america.html

      In 2005, some 47,000 people managed to get hurt playing golf.

      -----

      As both a participant (in the past) and a spectator (more so now) of baseball, I want to defend the sport. It is actually more strategy than action in a bodily contact way comparing with both basketball and American football.

      -----

      People who lounge around on a La-Z-Boy gets hurt too. haha.

      -49er

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  6. 一句講晒 領袖才能
    你證明到你有領袖才能 咁就掂晒嫁啦@@~

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  7. 奧巴馬當年籃球都玩得很不錯,又夠 nerdy 讀法律。我相信團隊運動可以訓練出領袖才能。nerdy is new sexy 只在電視出現,想「御女」還是波牛著數。

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    1. 讀法律不一定 nerdy,奧巴馬年青時也不像是個 nerd。

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  8. 正所謂男人不壞﹐女人不愛
    我覺得係咪書獃子﹐主要睇潮流觸覺呀嘛﹖
    運動細胞反而係其次。
    如果你個仔除書本知識外﹐對潮流玩物一竅不通﹐平日又粗口都唔講多句﹐比人叫作書獃子﹐真係唔出奇。

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    1. 我中學時代的風頭躉個個文武全才,會考拔尖得黎又係泳隊足球隊,講野衰衰格格(當然唔下流)。淨識讀書果d係會俾人笑死,唔笑波牛係驚俾佢打死。

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    2. 文少,

      //如果你個仔除書本知識外﹐對潮流玩物一竅不通﹐平日又粗口都唔講多句﹐比人叫作書獃子﹐真係唔出奇。//

      - 佢對潮流玩物都不知幾咁認識,不過粗口就甚少講。

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    3. //佢對潮流玩物都不知幾咁認識,不過粗口就甚少講。//
      純粹一問﹐佢會唔會見到女仔就怕羞呀﹖
      呢下都好大鑊的。

      至於粗口嘛﹐無對住你講咋嘛﹖
      話晒你係佢老豆﹐我就從唔會對長輩爆粗啦。(真)

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    4. 文少 "正所謂男人不壞﹐女人不愛"/"個仔除書本知識外﹐對潮流玩物一竅不通"

      That'd depend on what kind of gals Prof. Wong's son is interested in. Vice versa, I am sure that there are chicks out there who love geeks/nerds.

      My opinion is no matter what kind of person he/she is, there will still be takers and someone who loves them. Equal opportunities and fair games. Depending on where and how we look for 'em. ;)

      Check this out dude: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au-fGGZWHqQ

      I have seen there are plenty of hot women being with an average looking dude with a boring personality. I bet you had too.

      -49er

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    5. http://fishandhappiness.blogspot.com/2009/12/blog-post_6609.html

      hehehe

      -49er

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    6. 文少,

      //純粹一問﹐佢會唔會見到女仔就怕羞呀﹖
      呢下都好大鑊的。//

      - 應該唔算,我見過佢主動同陌生女仔傾偈。

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    7. 49er:

      美女嫁壽頭﹐多數是現實考慮
      可惜她們大多數妄顧了一個現實
      女人會隨著年齡遞增而貶值
      壽頭價位低開﹐一是繼續在低位徘徊﹐如增值後競爭力便會不同。
      你看大劉多樣衰﹖還不是三妻四妾的
      都是馬克思說得對
      經濟基礎決定上層建築也(閃)

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  9. 文少 :
    "...運動細胞反而係其次。"
    唔明?

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    1. 哈哈﹐你著到成個宅男一樣的話﹐咪又係kai子﹖

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    2. 你是否想說凱文係kai子﹖

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    3. 真好笑﹐話人kai之前﹐你授薪何職呀﹖

      我依山靠水﹐眼睛比你大﹐何來係kai子呀﹖

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    4. 哦,kai子二代呀!

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  10. A beautiful mind is attractive. Who would like to date someone who only can talk about sports and pop culture?

    Physique doesn't last... be it beauty or sport capability.

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    1. I guess most girls don't think that way.

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    2. "I guess most girls don't think that way."

      I suppose your son is a high school sophomore?

      High school is brutal. Based on my personal experience, being a sophomore sucks! Particularly it usually happens in a age which a teen is trying to find his/her identity, trying to find a group to fit in, and figuring out how to navigate life.

      High school life has always been divided in various group identities—jocks, geeks/nerds, wall flowers, bitches, princesses, cheer-leaders, artists, cool kids, thugs, class crowns, freaks, etc. With various sub-cultures.

      In many ways, grown-up life is like high school.

      In high school, it's all about popularity, clicks, being cool, what you wear, who you hang with, what parties you're at, etc.

      When you go to college, the focus shifts to academic achievement.

      Many people get out of college thinking the world will be like that. "The harder you work, the more you will be rewarded." But most of us knows it's not.

      Life is like high school. It's all about who you know, how socially charming you are, what scene you're in, what you wear, what parties you're at, flirting, and being cool.

      I think what is important is your son being able to feel good in who he is and have the self confidence.

      I suppose as you may think – being in philosophy – finding meaning and stick with ot through out life. :)

      This is for you and the other readers to get an idea of what these groups are in our high school culture.

      http://sitemaker.umich.edu/356.tran/home

      Can someone please enlighten me if the high school in HK has similar social groups cultures?

      -49er

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    3. Yes, he is a sophomore. Actually he likes high school a lot; it's just that there are a few annoying people.

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    4. Prof., good to know he enjoys his highschool life. A few annoying (immature) people who name calls/applies labels to others (a fact of life, happens to both the young and old alike) is a lot easier to deal with than being ganged up or bullied on.

      Come to think of it, you son will not be too annoyed by those fools if he is able to "own" and be prideful of that "nerd" label. He can be a "cool" nerd. Similar to how some in the Black community who are--with a sense of pride --addressing each other using the "N" word.

      -49er

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  11. 如果令郎反駁他們欠包容開放的胸襟, 不尊重個人選擇, 用輕鬆句語: xx is also a nerd, a football nerd. I respect his choice. nerd means new eminence real development 如何?

    btw 有否聽過piano nerd 郎朗的Bach新曲目?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGMbBZky-gA
    --haode2010

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    1. 中學生之間是不會這樣講道理的。

      郎朗的 Bach 我聽不慣。

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    2. 對不這樣講道理的人就以wit或男子氣回應他們吧
      他們作弄人是因自以為自然夠wit或男子氣, 如果被嘲弄人也表現這方面就可縮窄鴻溝

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  12. 做個詩學型nerd又如何?

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  13. 一個人做到幾叻幾勁都會有野俾人挑剔,
    到佢第時揚名立萬咪有第2樣野俾人笑~
    所以其實點都係冇一個吐一口鳥氣ge機會~ lol
    所以,唯有睇開d啦~

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    1. 他還後生,這道理要人生經驗豐富點才會明白...

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  14. 美國本來就是崇尚武力以力服人的國家,有這種尚武文化不出奇。

    自己知道智慧之用就好,笑你的那些人,遲早會後悔。

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    1. 這本來就是動物本性之一,恐怕不能太過強求.

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  15. "美國本來就是崇尚武力以力服人的國家,有這種尚武文化不出奇。"

    方潤, I am reading that claim as "a belligerent nation/culture produces a violent sport like American Football." What is your bases in saying that?

    -49er

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  16. Some "nerds" at MIT are sports champs. :)

    http://mitathletics.com/landing/index

    How your son will use this info to rebut those people and perhaps give him pride is up to him.

    -49er

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    1. Thanks. But I think most nerds at MIT are just nerds...

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  17. actually whats the difference between dork and nerd?

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    1. A dork is just socially awkward but not necessarily smart.

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