Wong, You don't have to say anything to give her a compliment. Just stare at her until she notices you and smile at her. (I don't recommend doing it in HK though.) If she walks away quickly, it means your staring is too creepy. (Hehe, joking.) --zpdrmn (make-it-worse guru)
Wong, //I suppose you have tried this yourself before? // Yes. When I was younger I was too dumb to smile but the girl smiled, so I learned. I got stared at for other reasons (like because of my race.) Just smile or smile back. --zpdrmn
//見到美女而不起色心是可能的// I agree. Once my wife and I (both still in college) saw a women (probably a college student) at the entrance of a fast food restaurant on the college strip, while we were inside. She was a natural beauty. My wife and I were attracted. We looked at her and I forgot who (I think it was my wife) said, "she is so beautiful." Her beauty (called for no makeup) was a special kind, everything (including her figure) was just in place. Her beauty didn't make me 起色心. Totally forgot to do that. Surely, it didn't make my wife 起色心. LOL. --zpdrmn
From my observation, whether it is inside or outside of academia, telling a stranger he or she is beautiful runs the risk of being seen as a creep. Actually, commenting on any physical characteristics of a stranger could run that risk (like you are talk, petite, etc.)
However, complementing on how a stranger's is dressed (e.g. nice shoes, I love your coat, beautiful scarf etc.) is perfectly okay and might even be appreciated. I hear that kinds of comments quite often. I think men can use complements like these as pick-up lines and they are considered more appropriate than directly saying that someone is beautiful.
//telling a stranger he or she is beautiful runs the risk of being seen as a creep// Even staring and then smile at a stranger in a Western country, like what I said, runs the same risk too. So, I am not suggesting anyone to do it anytime, anywhere he/she sees an opposite sex. Do that to 1 in a 1000 women/men you see may be too much. Also, you have to be someone who isn't that kind of person (a creep or whatever) and doesn't care too much about how people see him/herself. Well, if you are really a creep, that will do too. --zpdrmn
I don't think it applies to all "Western" cultures though - I think it's specific to the Anglo-American puritan culture (with a mix of post Women's Right Movement restrain) in the United States.
//From my observation, whether it is inside or outside of academia, telling a stranger he or she is beautiful runs the risk of being seen as a creep. Actually, commenting on any physical characteristics of a stranger could run that risk (like you are talk, petite, etc.)//
- Agree.
//However, complementing on how a stranger's is dressed (e.g. nice shoes, I love your coat, beautiful scarf etc.) is perfectly okay and might even be appreciated. I hear that kinds of comments quite often. I think men can use complements like these as pick-up lines and they are considered more appropriate than directly saying that someone is beautiful. //
If you are still a college student, I bet your response will be totally different. :)
回覆刪除You are now a professor, so any allegation of harassment/racism/religious discrimination will certainly get you into a deep trouble.
//Matt 提到...
回覆刪除//You are now a professor, so any allegation of harassment/racism/*religious discrimination* will certainly get you into a deep trouble.
Oh, is he already in deep trouble? ;)
Wong,
回覆刪除You don't have to say anything to give her a compliment.
Just stare at her until she notices you and smile at her. (I don't recommend doing it in HK though.) If she walks away quickly, it means your staring is too creepy. (Hehe, joking.)
--zpdrmn (make-it-worse guru)
說得如此漂亮
回覆刪除還真想看看
是白人?
Matt,
回覆刪除//If you are still a college student, I bet your response will be totally different. :)//
- I would not have talked to her even if I were still a college student.
zpdrmn,
回覆刪除//You don't have to say anything to give her a compliment.Just stare at her until she notices you and smile at her. //
- I suppose you have tried this yourself before?
Kimmon,
回覆刪除//說得如此漂亮
還真想看看
是白人?//
- 是西人，不過不是很白的那種。
以她這麼美麗，她一定習慣了旁人對她的讚美。王Sir就算真的走去說了，她也不會覺得太奇怪吧。
回覆刪除Meshi,
回覆刪除//以她這麼美麗，她一定習慣了旁人對她的讚美。王Sir就算真的走去說了，她也不會覺得太奇怪吧。//
- 我當時沒有這麼想。我同意她可能不會奇怪，但應該仍會覺得唐突。
同佢講你想姦佢把啦.
回覆刪除willsin
willsin,
回覆刪除想不到你會講出這樣的說話，見到美女而不起色心是可能的，你明白嗎？I feel offended.
我覺得這和社會規範無關﹐這只是你心理素質的一種反映。簡單來講﹐你性格較內向﹐或自尊心較強﹐令你不敢搭訕。
回覆刪除其實﹐如你沒心思想認識她的話﹐隨便走上前有禮貌的讚美她一兩句﹐然後便走人﹐她也不會覺得被冒犯的。
除非你所說的規範﹐是因為你是已婚人士。在已婚或有戀人的情況下﹐找美女搭訕屬嚴重罪行﹐有機會被伴侶行使宮刑(閃)
btw,見到美女而不起色心是不科學的(爆)
/*在已婚或有戀人的情況下﹐找美女搭訕屬嚴重罪行﹐有機會被伴侶行使宮刑*/
回覆刪除我就是生活在這法律中呀。
Wong,
回覆刪除//I suppose you have tried this yourself before? //
Yes. When I was younger I was too dumb to smile but the girl smiled, so I learned.
I got stared at for other reasons (like because of my race.) Just smile or smile back. --zpdrmn
//見到美女而不起色心是可能的//
回覆刪除I agree. Once my wife and I (both still in college) saw a women (probably a college student) at the entrance of a fast food restaurant on the college strip, while we were inside. She was a natural beauty. My wife and I were attracted. We looked at her and I forgot who (I think it was my wife) said,
"she is so beautiful." Her beauty (called for no makeup) was a special kind, everything (including her figure) was just in place. Her beauty didn't make me 起色心. Totally forgot to do that. Surely, it didn't make my wife 起色心. LOL. --zpdrmn
文少,
回覆刪除//我覺得這和社會規範無關﹐這只是你心理素質的一種反映。簡單來講﹐你性格較內向﹐或自尊心較強﹐令你不敢搭訕。//
- 這是一個因素，但我認為教授不應對一個不認識的女學生講那樣的說話，就是社會規範。
//見到美女而不起色心是不科學的//
- 文少見到美女而不起色心就是不科學的。
Yan,
回覆刪除///*在已婚或有戀人的情況下﹐找美女搭訕屬嚴重罪行﹐有機會被伴侶行使宮刑*/
我就是生活在這法律中呀。//
- 仲係定言律令添呀！
zpdrmn,
回覆刪除//Her beauty (called for no makeup) was a special kind, everything (including her figure) was just in place. //
- That's similar to the experience I described.
(Off topic)
回覆刪除Your post reminds me of an interesting play "Oleanna". It is about education, sex and power.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oleanna_%28play%29
A short clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMKpbnvaSBQ
Audience's response
http://www.youtube.com/user/oleannabroadway#g/u
Kimmon,
回覆刪除//說得如此漂亮
還真想看看
是白人?//
Why did you ask if it was a white person? Why did you think it was relevant?
From my observation, whether it is inside or outside of academia, telling a stranger he or she is beautiful runs the risk of being seen as a creep. Actually, commenting on any physical characteristics of a stranger could run that risk (like you are talk, petite, etc.)
回覆刪除However, complementing on how a stranger's is dressed (e.g. nice shoes, I love your coat, beautiful scarf etc.) is perfectly okay and might even be appreciated. I hear that kinds of comments quite often. I think men can use complements like these as pick-up lines and they are considered more appropriate than directly saying that someone is beautiful.
Perhaps it's because we believe in meritocracy.
//telling a stranger he or she is beautiful runs the risk of being seen as a creep//
回覆刪除Even staring and then smile at a stranger in a Western country, like what I said, runs the same risk too. So, I am not suggesting anyone to do it anytime, anywhere he/she sees an opposite sex. Do that to 1 in a 1000 women/men you see may be too much. Also, you have to be someone who isn't that kind of person (a creep or whatever) and doesn't care too much about how people see him/herself. Well, if you are really a creep, that will do too. --zpdrmn
Zpdrmn,
回覆刪除I don't think it applies to all "Western" cultures though - I think it's specific to the Anglo-American puritan culture (with a mix of post Women's Right Movement restrain) in the United States.
Matt,
回覆刪除//Your post reminds me of an interesting play "Oleanna". It is about education, sex and power.//
- Thanks. Looks interesting and "scary".
Lin,
回覆刪除//From my observation, whether it is inside or outside of academia, telling a stranger he or she is beautiful runs the risk of being seen as a creep. Actually, commenting on any physical characteristics of a stranger could run that risk (like you are talk, petite, etc.)//
- Agree.
//However, complementing on how a stranger's is dressed (e.g. nice shoes, I love your coat, beautiful scarf etc.) is perfectly okay and might even be appreciated. I hear that kinds of comments quite often. I think men can use complements like these as pick-up lines and they are considered more appropriate than directly saying that someone is beautiful. //
- I couldn't help reading between the lines...
//I couldn't help reading between the lines...//
回覆刪除And got that I am ugly but well-dressed? Yup, you got it right!
I do complement people on how they dress quite often. It's a good way to brighten people's day and a great conversation starter with strangers.
lin,
回覆刪除Well-dressed, certainly; ugly? I doubt it.
Lin,
回覆刪除I over-generalize a lot. So, I won't defend what I said. Hehe. --zpdrmn