20111008

不欲知人

劉劭《人物志》〈接識〉篇裏有幾句話說得很對:「不欲知人,則言無不疑。是故,以深說淺,益深益異;異則相返,反則相非。」

我試譯為白話文如下:「假如沒有意欲去了解另一個人,那麼,對那人說的話便總會有些懷疑。因此,對著有這種淺薄態度的人,你越是深入表達自己的看法,他便越容易和你意見相左;意見相左變成各持己見,互相反對到一個程度便會變成互相攻擊。」

這種「異則相返,反則相非」的不愉快情況源於「不欲知人」,而「不欲知人」可以是由於沒有興趣去知,但也可是因為早有偏見和誤解,沒有意欲去進一步認識對方。這情況在網上的討論經常見到,今天將《人物志》這幾句說話寫出,希望能收自我警惕之效,也希望有些讀者能有所領悟。

11 則留言:

  1. 有感而發乎?

    R.

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  2. 要做到要需要一定胸襟~

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  3. 仲尼,

    有胸襟的人實在太少。

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  4. 真有同感!
    這情况常常聽到在同事,同學和親人間發生。 可能常看到對方, 不能避; 或未有充足時間反醒(即現在教小孩子強調要有"內醒"智能或長輩說的"火遮眼")。
    只要有任何一方發現這"各持己見"是幼稚行為; 像王教授以往一樣輕描淡寫一提便停, 又無或不受貌似好友教唆。 就萬家生佛, 無問題啦 :D MW

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  5. MW,

    //像王教授以往一樣輕描淡寫一提便停, 又無或不受貌似好友教唆。 就萬家生佛, 無問題啦//

    - 謝謝,不過我有時也難免太投入。

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  6. Wong,
    I think this blog is doing very well in discussion without 互相攻擊 even when different viewpoints are presented. Hard to find a blog like that.
    //異則相返// at first I thought it meant if it is an opposite sex go back home together with him/her... (kidding) --zpdrmn

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  7. 王教授, 客氣客氣


    咦! 高人zpdrmn
    你是否暗指王教授”反則相非”對象是異性, 所以才可能演變到”不欲知人”?
    唔, 這點有待商確… Hehe, just kidding, don’t be too serious. MW

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  8. MW,
    I know you are kidding. I won't take it seriously. But I still want to make this clear:
    //是否暗指王教授”反則相非”對象是異性// No, I said I was kidding. And I wasn't referring to any person in particular (maybe just myself). I don't know Wong enough to imply such a claim, but he has given me an impression that he isn't that kind.

    I ain't tall at all, so I can't be a 高人. Hehe.

    //演變到”不欲知人”?// If you mean it is an one night stand, therefore one can go by 不欲知人... Maybe. 商確… not with me though. I am done here. --zpdrmn

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  9. Wong,

    If I have offended you, making you think that I was talking about you (see MW's comment), I apologize. --zpdrmn

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  10. zpdrmn,

    I didn't feel offended at all. Don't worry.

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