20140321

「從前,有個中學生談戀愛,後來他死了」

香港某中學因為被指公開學生拍拖名單,引起爭議;據報章報導,校方後來解釋,在早會讀出名單並非刻意安排,校方不是禁止學生談戀愛,只是警戒他們勿穿校服作親暱行為云云。這段新聞後來還有下文,原來校長用心良苦,在校刊發表文章,用講故事的形式來說明「愛不合時,抱恨終身」的人生道理,故事的主人翁據說是校長的舊同學:

「他原成績優良,惟高中後因談戀愛而令成績一落千丈,無法升讀大學。其後女友意外懷孕,為了負責任,他不惜身兼兩職養家。然而,辛勞廿載後他卻因疏於管教,兒子誤入歧途,終妻離子散。」
(見 http://hk.apple.nextmedia.com/news/art/20140321/18663563

這故事也真的太冗長了,遠不及以下簡潔有力的「麥太版」:

「從前,有個中學生談戀愛,後來他死了。」

大多數人都怕死,包括中學生,只要向他們指出凡談戀愛的都會死,相信不會有很多中學生還膽敢談戀愛吧?

這個「麥太版」的邏輯比校長的版本強多了,因為「凡談戀愛的都會死」是真的;不信?你有本事就找個例外出來(不要指著那些談戀愛而未死的,因為他們都會死)!可是,談戀愛的中學生很多都沒有成績一落千丈;成績一落千丈的也有不少後來勤力讀書,升上大學;女友意外懷孕的是少數,就算當了爸爸要養家,自己讀不成大學,也未必沒有其他發展機會,更沒理由一定疏於管教子女... (校長完美示範了滑坡謬誤。)

好了,說認真的,相信對很多中學生來說,校長的故事和「麥太版」都同樣不能打動他們,因為少年人是不會想得那麼長遠的;還有,情竇初開,那青春煥發的愛慕,是天地間一股難以阻撓逆轉的力量,而且越壓制便會變得越強大。辦教育的人應該了解這種力量,鼓勵固然不必,但壓制終是徒然,不如教導學生如何善用和有效分配時間,令談戀愛盡量不影響學業。此外,性教育也很重要,美國過去二十年未成年少女懷孕率大幅下降,難道是因為美國的少年人少談戀愛了?情到濃時,沒有多少個血氣方剛的人能把持得住;這時候,最重要的不是記起校長或麥太的故事,而是懂得防止懷孕。

其實,少年十五二十時的戀愛,是人生的寶貴經驗,可以幫助一個人成長太多未必是好事,完全沒有,卻是值得遺憾的。


【後記:有朋友認為校長犯的是軼事謬誤(anecdotal fallacy),但這是假設了校長說的真有其事;我則認為他只是講故事,並將中學生談戀愛說成是無心向學、人生失敗的不歸路。不過,即使校長說的是真事,如果他犯了軼事謬誤,將那軼事一般化(generalize)後的描述,也可以算是滑坡謬誤。】

20 則留言:

  1. 那個校長的專制式教育方法很可能會令效果適得其反。

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  2. 真人直事,我有個中學同學,大一時搞大左女友個肚,當年讀大學時要一邊讀書一邊做野。結果呢,現在他咪一樣做工程師,有四個仔女。依家我還要湊B,他個大仔已經讀大學,就快仔大女大可以甩難。

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  3. "青春煥發的愛慕" is normal. But after school, one should go back to "student" mode. 成績不一落千丈的, either they have higher IQ & EQ, or they are already getting old, as in Hevangel's case: "大一".

    Through personal experience, "青春煥發的愛慕" really caused **my** 成績一落千丈, because at very young age, such "青春煥發的愛慕" is addictive.

    The conclusion is "學生談戀愛" really need guidance.

    And "沒有多少個血氣方剛的人能把持得住"... Sorry, but no kids 天生 know what to do next (i.e. go to the "bed") after falling in love. The "把持不住" part is all learned through 後天. And "防止懷孕" is after the "把持不住" part. And then the sexual disease part... Thus it is a chain reaction.

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    1. 「教導學生如何善用和有效分配時間,令談戀愛盡量不影響學業」。

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    2. It is more than that, such as moral value, actual needs, financial aspect, commitment, etc.

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  4. 其實一切都是因化學作用
    後生仔女荷爾朦化學反應
    做出磨擦物理動作釋放後
    最便是生物學的授孕過程
    phy chem bio 三項齊發!!!

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    1. that was our 爛gag during high school to perform phy chem bio experiments not in the labs!

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  5. 呢份聲明又點睇
    http://www.pocawsc.edu.hk/download/LatestNews/194/201403221601073368728c.pdf

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  6. "其實,少年十五二十時的戀愛,是人生的寶貴經驗,可以幫助一個人成長" I sort of agree IF, IF the parents are informed and give advice to the youngster. I saw some parents in America are way too open in my standard that they allow the "teenager" staying overnight.

    Definitely agree is "太多未必是好事: but 完全沒有,卻是值得遺憾的" really?? I don't know.

    It is very common in the muslim community that they don't allow the children to date but arrange them to get marry at very young age. One of my neighbor arranged her daughter in age 17 and then the youngster "sort of" know each other by family meeting or group meeting. By the time they finish college, they get marry. It is so mystery for us as Chinese as we believe the freedom of choice. At the same time, you also admire their youngsters do not have too much drama of dating, pregnancy, separation then depression. What do you think of this?

    Rosemary
    t

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    1. // What do you think of this?//

      - I am not sure. I guess there is no simple answer to such a question about cultural differences.

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  7. Can't agree more; though sometimes I would have said something similarly stupid to kids.

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  8. I WOULD RATHER HEAR THE COMMENTS FROM 樂少 IF HE HAS READ THIS PASSAGE!

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    1. I think he would agree with me.

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  9. 太早拍拖,不太好,不過,那個的手法有些問題。
    有時候,愈禁愈會去做。

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  10. 「麥太版」二次:

    從前,有個小一學生不談戀愛,後來他死了。

    從前,有個嬰兒喝奶,後來他死了。

    從前,有個傻佬zpdrmn(我本人)在這裏留言發噏風,後來他死了。

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